Tesco check out.
3 goes at pin. All wrong. Card locked.
Blush and fluster.
Repeat this sequence 3 times.
Different cards. All muddled up now.
“You’ve got half an hour then we have to put this stuff back”
Home. Phone bank.
Enter a zillion numbers at each prompt.
Can’t remember memorable password.
Blush and fluster. Hang up.
Try again. “You’ve just outstandingly failed at this.
Have another go - if you think you’re hard enough”
Can’t remember my name. Hang up.
Rip filing cabinet apart.
Find correct password. Success!
Phone bank. Triumphantly.
“I think we have to send you new pin numbers”
“Noooo! Cat food. At Tesco. Now. Unlock! Unlock!”
Done. One card. Sorted.
Cash point. Just to be sure.
No more flush and bluster.
Yayyy! Unlocked. I’m in!
Oh.
Typed 600 instead of 60.
Cancel. Try again. Card locked.
Message on screen: "phone bank, if you think you’re hard enough”
Home. Phone bank.
Enter a zillion numbers at each prompt.
Repeat conversation with addition of crashing cash point terminus.
“Oh. We’re sending you a new pin.”
“Noooo!”
“Sorry, it’s all in process now. Anything else I can do for you today?”
Don’t ask. Please don’t ask.
