I said it wrong in part 2. Heart-soul's dreams are never unfulfilled. We just don't always "get" or even like how they are acted out. Expectations are the rub. They can be screwed with. And over. Because they aren't Real. They're invented and imposed. Externally. On things and people. They're arbitrary, transient and the ultimate conceit. And we base our lives on them. Totally. Expectations are fickle bedmates only because we give them credibility. And power. Maybe we'd be better treating them more like one-night stands; cute but best gone by morning.
We double, triple layer them with social fantasy and then, before we can count a single star, we're imprisoned in a time-bomb. Focussed on inevitable explosion, wondering how we can prevent it. Then have the gall to be distraught when we're torn apart.
Of course, I can't speak at all for "we" - so regard the above as me going *doh* at my silly self.
Not you.
I have, do and always will Love. Passionately. Relationships just never turned out as I expected. But if I rely on owning another to believe in anything or sustain the unsustainable, then of course I'm going to feel "unfulfilled" - because it's a nonsense.
No-one can own or "have" another. Why would we want to? Isn't slavery the wrong way to get what we desire? Isn't it ultimately futile and impossible anyway? If you have slavery then you've got to accept rebellion. Life is supposed to change. We are too. Not fight to stay the same where same is a mythical myth anyhow. We're here, in part, to experience the hell of it as well as the ecstacy. To make peace with tyrant emotions and understand that Love is not so much abstract as different than our limited/ing 5 sensory perceptions. We're not supposed to get stuck on "loss." We're supposed to revel in the "finding." And know that it isn't ours to keep, so stop wanting to! Simple, eh? (Yeah, right!)
There are homilies everywhere about better to have loved and lost ... if you love someone let them go ... do we listen to ourselves? Nahhhh! lol
We can't own love but we can enjoy it. Experience it. We can allow it to decide how we behave. Especially when someone leaves. Or hurts us. Or otherwise declares that they have other stuff to do. Even if that other stuff is another layer of their expectation. Maybe I'm also saying that it's ok to fall out of love that's really expectation but that doesn't mean we fall out of Love. At all. Ever. In my opinion. We gaze into the sky and rise.
And by the way, I'm still yelling at myself ... not "we" ... or you!
Geez, it's tough being human .. ye gods ... ye have no idea!!
*image: Michael Parkes
